I hate squirrels

Squirrels.
I hate the little boogers.
All they do is run around, gathering nuts, then they bury them, and then go run around again trying to remember where the heck they put the darn things. Then they eat them, eventually mate, have squirrel babies, and then it starts all over again.
Oh yeah, I left out the part where they get into your attic and make annoying scratching sounds above your head while you're trying to get to sleep.
That was the worst.
So we tried to put up traps to catch the rodents while they're in our attic. We set the traps out of and inside the attic, and placed tantalizing treats inside of them to lure them to their doom. Of course, the darned fur-balls developed a technique to get the food without triggering the traps.
Eventually we did trap all of the squirrels, and patched up the whole that they chewed through our house to get into the attic. It took a while, though. There were some sleepless nights involved.
But it wasn't over then. Oh, no sir-ree. That's when they targeted the bird feeder.
Our bird feeder is attached to a protruding limb from a tree right outside the kitchen window, so we can see all of the beautiful birds that come to visit. Unfortunately, the squirrels would scare away all of the beautiful creatures and stuff their unsightly faces with seeds.
So we put an anti-squirrel hood atop the feeder and sprayed it with cooking oil.
Now THAT was funny!
The squirrels would try to use it to help them get on the feeder, but finding it too slippery, would end up running in place like Scooby Doo, their stubby paws getting them nowhere. Then they'd slip off, fall to the ground, and start it all over again.
Eventually, I ended up being assigned to broom duty, and I'd chase the squirrels away with a trusty old broom. One time a member of my family threw a watering can at one of the rodents, but to no avail.
Oh well.
I hate squirrels...